Pocket-Porter

This is one of what I like to call my McGuffins.
A McGuffin is a potentially useful but dangerous and/or unpredictable SciFi object that is of mysterious function, operation, and construction. Examples include anything from the show "Warehouse 13", the flux capacitor of Back to the Future, and innumerable gizmos and gadgets from pulp science fiction throughout the twentieth century.

This one arrived on my desk second-hand, packed with the following operating instructions:

Thank you for purchasing the
Pocket-Porter: Miniturized Matter Trans-Localizer Mrk VI!
Operating your new Pocket-Porter is so simple, a child could do it!*

Simply:

1)-Enter the coordinates you wish to Trans-localize to into the X,Y and Z coordinate fields.**

2)-Wind the key 36 times in a counter-clockwise direction***

3)-and hold on to your hat!****

Notes:

*under no circumstances should children be allowed to operate the Pocket-Porter

**The manufacturers of the Pocket-Porter bear no responsibility for injury, property damage, or death resulting from improper entry of coordinates.

***Failure to wind your Pocket-Porter fully, forcing the winding key to turn in a clockwise manner, or forcibly over-winding your Pocket-Porter
can result in damage to the mechanisms of the Pocket-Porter, potentially resulting in:
inappropriate or incomplete trans-localization of the user,
loss of function of the Pocket-Porter,
possible injury to the Pocket-Porter, the user, and the immediate vicinity due to release of various forms of radiation including gamma, tau, and infrared, and the emission of certain only partially understood exotic particles. This will void the Pocket-Porters warranty.
Possible destabilization of the space-time foam in the immediate vicinity leading to paradoxical events and/or dimensional rifts.
The materialization of objects including but not limited to: socks, airplanes, domestic animals, ocean-going vessels, and/or fruitcakes.

****The manufacturers of Pocket-Porter are not responsible for loss of property and/or limbs in the process of trans-localizing through bent space-time.

The remainder of the operations, legal and maintenance information has been scorched, torn, and crumpled to the point of illegibility, and scrawled over with the words "NEVER USE THIS INFERNAL THING!!!" Still working up the courage to take it for a spin.